Am I CF Or Do I Have It?

As you know, I help out at my mums barber shop and to be honest I’m getting abit fed up of people not knowing what CF is and as a result me avoiding telling them I have CF. I don't want to talk about CF all the time, people can't comprehend how it affects me and it also creates an awkwardness for the them.

Conversations tend to go like this

Customer: are you still studying?
Me: no I finished Uni about 3 years ago
Customer: oh right, you looking for a job to do with your degree then?
Me: no not really
Customer: oh right, how come?
Me: I have cystic fibrosis so had to give up working at the college I worked at after uni
Customer: whats that then?
Me: [wants to scream}

Or

Customer: you must be new here never seen you before?
Me: no I’ve been here ages, my mum owns the shop. I don’t work many hours
Customer: oh how come, got another job or a kid?
Me: no I have cystic fibrosis so it limits how much I am capable of working
Customer: whats that then?

Or

Customer: What days do you get off then?
Me: I’m only here Saturdays
Customer: oh right, got another job or a kid then?
Me: erm neither, I have cystic fibrosis so struggle to work a lot of hours
Customer: whats that?

Or

Customer: you going out tonight then?
Me: no I’m not feeling very well, how about you?
Customer: nah, whats up with you? Hope its not serious?!
Me: well I have cystic fibrosis and I'm not too well at the moment
Customer: [looks all awkward and goes quiet]

Or

Customer: you got a cold or hay fever?
Me: erm neither thanks
Customer: whats with the cough then?
Me: I have cystic fibrosis
Customer: whats that? Is it serious?

OK you get the jist! I don’t want to spend all my time explaining what CF is so end up just trying not to talk to people! Plus it makes them feel awkward and embarrassed! I mean how can you explain CF in terms that people understand without making them feel uncomfortable! You can’t believe how nosey people are! The thing is, I barely know these people, I don't want to have to explain my life to them and I don't want the awkwardness which emerges once I tell them I have a disease, plus I get asked stupid questions like 'isn't there a cure?'. CF is not who I am but somehow it seems to leak into everything I do and talk about! It seems to be becoming part of my identity more and more. It's in my mind all the time, whether it's planning when I need to do my next nebuliser or trying to figure out how to explain a part of it to someone. I suppose I could lie but that's not how I think I should live my life.

I once did a customers hair and I knew his daughter, he said 'oh which Gemma are you? The one with CF?', is that who I am? Is that how people remember and describe me?

I am not ashamed I have CF, however it's a difficult disease to explain in simple terms and it would be nice to get away from it, I know it's impossible but one can hope....!

Poll Results

Ok so the results of my nosey poll....

64 people completed it which I guess means 64 people read my blog, maybe abit less as people might have been tempted to fill it in twice or something?!

I have CF 55% (33 people)
My Child has CF 15% (10 people)
My Partner had CF 6% (4 people, one of which I know is Pete!)
I am a member of Gemma's family 4% (3 people)
Nothing to do with CF just interested 10% (7 people)
I have a different lung condition 95 (6 people)
I work with people with CF 1% (1 person)

Pretty impressive really, surprised that many people want to know about my boring life! I'm glad people with other lung conditions find some parts of it useful and I hope parents of children with CF find it useful, I hope I don't scare them too much!

Nosey...

Been the nosey person I am, I have created a little poll to see who you guys are and why you might find my blog interesting (look to your right). I'd be very grateful if you could complete it. It will finish on my wedding day so I will have something to look at when I get back the next day as I will probably be feeling abit deflated and tired because it will be all over! Not sure a poll will pick me up but we shall see!!
Cheers!!