Complaint Letter to Revolution Bar

Had to share this complaint I've made because of the stupidity of it all! I am not one for asking for special treatment or taking advantage but I can't see why my request was treated with such hostility! All I wanted was a bit of compassion as a fellow human being...!

Dear Sir/Madam

On Saturday 7^th September at approximately 11pm I went to Revolution (Electric Press) in Leeds. I don't go out in to town very often as I have Cystic Fibrosis and am often too unwell to venture out. As a result of my lack of knowledge, I was unfortunately dropped off by the wrong entrance to Revolution and was informed I had to use the other entrance by a doorman.

Cystic Fibrosis is a genetic condition that affects mainly the lungs and digestive system by blocking them with thick, sticky mucus. This causes constant chronic chest infections, lung damage, inflammation, malnutrition and diabetes amongst other complications. My lung function is 40% of a healthy persons. Walking, especially in colder weather causes me to cough violently, become wheezy and short of breath. Imagine breathing through a straw with a really bad cold and chest infection and that might give you a small insight in to what I have to cope with every single day.

As you can imagine, I therefore try to walk as little as possible as it is distressing, causes headaches, back and neck pain and is very embarrassing. In fact on a night out I have to plan in advance where to go in order to try avoid walking long distances. Therefore I explained to the doorman that walking around to the other entrance would cause me to cough and become breathless as I have Cystic Fibrosis and could he let me use this entrance? He informed me I could not. I explained again how serious my condition is and please could he let me through just this time, I wasn't trying to get in for free, I would just struggle to walk around. Again he told me no, everyone is treated the same and has to use the other entrance. He then added 'you are out partying aren't you? So....', I believe he was implying I could not be disabled as I was on a night out. Does your business believe that people with disabilities are not entitled to socialise and go out in public? This is pure discrimination and not acceptable at all.

I asked him his name which he refused to give me, I then asked to speak to the manager and he told me if I wanted to speak to the manager to go use the other entrance and get him myself. All I was asking for was some compassion and this man was extremely rude to me. I sent my friend around to the front entrance to fetch the manager and started to explain to the doorman about the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) (1995). This legislation requires public bodies to promote equality of opportunity for people with disabilities by making reasonable adjustments. Here is a link for your information (http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20070905115609/http://direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/Everydaylifeandaccess/DG_4018353)

The doorman claimed making me use the front entrance meant he was treating me equally, illustrating he has absolutely no idea what the law is or how to interpret it. He also turned to talk to some other men whilst I was still explaining the law to him and then turned around and shouted at me like I was a child for 'interrupting' him.

Whilst I was speaking to the doorman I even had a coughing episode and he asked me if I was OK, making the whole situation even more ludicrous!

Another doorman came over to find out the problem. I again explained my situation and that all I wanted to do was avoid having to walk due to my condition and I wasn't trying to get in for free. The other doorman at this point yelled he was not not a 'cashier!'. This new doorman told me he couldn't let me in this way as other people would complain, I told him I'm sure he explained I was disabled they wouldn't mind but he didn't seem to care.

At this point I didn't want to go in to the bar any more, however my friends had already paid to go in as they had come in a separate taxi and didn't know what was happening. Apparently the manager was refusing to come see me and I was upset by how unhelpful all the staff were and my inability to do anything about it.

The new doorman offered to walk around to the front entrance with me and get me in for free. I explained to him that this wouldn't help me. However he insisted and I had little choice. So I walked around and to my dismay realised it was uphill which made the situation even worse. I coughed all the way, people were staring at me and I couldn't breathe properly. All because your staff are stubborn and did not believe I was disabled because I have an unseen disability. The doorman asked me if I was OK, clearly I was not and told him so and this is exactly why I didn't want to have to walk around! He offered to get me a glass of water which does not help me in the slightest, what would have helped me they were not willing to do.

When you have a condition like mine, you know that you have to walk to places, sometimes it is unavoidable. However whenever possible you try to avoid walking to save the embarrassment, distress and to preserve energy for the times you have no choice but to walk. My condition is complex, you can't see it but it is serious and therefore I expect to be treated with the same compassion as any other person with a disability such as a wheelchair user, I have a blue badge just like others with disabilities. I was discriminated against because you can not see my disability. I was spoken to rudely and made to feel invaluable as a customer. Your establishment failed to meet the requirements of the DDA and it could so easily have been avoided as my request was simple.

Yours sincerely

Gemma

Just Write the Prescription Please

Well hello there!

So a little update on moi... my lung function last week was 45% and my weight is *drum roll please*..... 57kg! I swear it must be muscle I am putting on or all just on my bum which is looking bigger and bootylicious, as my waist is not getting any bigger thank goodness. Guess my strength training at the gym is doing the trick! Just call me muscle lady from now on please.... needless to say I feel quite proud of myself at the moment and may even feel a little smirk making its way on to my face.

I did start to feel run down towards the end of last week, I suspect I picked something up when I had my hospital appointment. Hospitals are the worse place for sick people to go! I started to get chest pains, coughing more, more tired and I was needing to do more insulin to keep my blood sugars down. From what I've gathered, diabetes causes a circle of sugar misery. You get high sugars because your chest infection is worsening and then the high sugars feed your infection. So I started on some Ciprofloxacin, upped my hypertonic saline and I'm starting to feel better, although I suspect I may end up having IVs but for now i'm happy to coast along (the bank holiday is coming up after all and who wants to be hooked to IVs if it can be put off?!). I'm at the in between stage: not my normal self and not ill enough to be begging for IVs just yet. I finish my last dose of Azli tonight and then it's my month off, I suspect this may be my downfall....

I only had 10 days worth of Cipro in my cupboard so asked for a prescription for four days worth to make it a two week course. Well the SHO Doctor (junior doctor) I spoke to was not happy I had started Cipro without asking anyone or telling anyone. How long have you been taking it? Who prescribed it? Is it in date? What dose are you taking? In future can you let us know so we can make a decision as how to treat you? Obviously she is new and I didn't want to be nasty, we all have to learn after all, so I was an obedient patient and answered her questions:

'I've been taking it since last Friday', 
'I'm not sure who prescribed it, I get it prescribed a lot, it was in my cupboard along which lots of other medications I have as back ups',
'yes I checked the expiry date, I think I'm capable of that', 
'I'm think it's the higher dose since I'm an adult and have two types of chronic Pseudomonas',
'yes in future I'll call the busy CF ward and ask to speak to a busy doctor to see if I have permission to take a tablet that they have specifically prescribed to use for this given situation so I don't have to wait for it to arrive in the post'

I didn't really say all that, like I say, they need to learn. Quickly if possible. Learn I've had CF for 28 years and know the protocol better than them or what works for me and I know how my body is feeling..... as you can tell, I'm not too keen on cocky junior doctors. Just write the prescription please.

Happy Festive Season!

I'm still here! 

I have recently discovered the joy of the mobility scooter! If you know me you will know I hate shopping of any kind, it makes me tired, I get out of breathe, I feel lightheaded, get headaches and I avoid it all costs. We get our food shopping delivered (when Pete is home to help unpack) and I just avoid doing any form of shopping in general. This is OK for most of the year as I don't have any money to buy things anyway, however at Christmas time it can become more difficult. There is only so much online shopping you can do, sometimes you just need to see the item in the flesh or try it on etc.

Say hello to the mobility scooter! Most shopping centres have them to rent for free, you book them in advance for however long you like and off you go! Now obviously there are downsides to these scooters, for a start they are not exactly very cool and I think it took a lot of nerve for me to admit that I needed to use one as it's just another way my CF makes me feel useless, feel different and acknowledge I have a life threatening illness that is worsening slowly. Secondly, there is a high demand for these scooters at this time of year and it can be difficult to book one. So you have to plan way ahead when you are going to go shopping and make sure you call as early as possible to book one and you have to turn up at a certain time and leave by the end of your session. You can't just think, ohh I'll go shopping tomorrow when I'm up and ready. It requires planning. Thirdly, these scooters are pretty big and won't fit in shops, I ended up taking out a box a mannequin was on the other week at the gap wasn't big enough! So you spend a lot of time getting off the scooter and going in the store or to look at a certain item as you can't get to it on the scooter. Lastly, they beep when you reverse, it's so embarrassing! As if it isn't bad enough being in your 20's on a scooter, without the damn thing beeping loudly when you need to reverse, and by the way people do not move for you!  

So yes, the mobility scooter, a life saver for shopping but not exactly something a woman in her 20's wants to be familiar with. Here is a picture of me stuck trying to get out of a lift, naturally Pete took a photo rather than help me...!

I'm rather excited to tell you I have a new inhaler that replaces my tobi nebuliser! I nebulise tobi which is the antibiotic tobraymcin twice a day, I nebulise tobramycin to try help control the infections on my chest. Through the old type nebuliser called a porta-neb this would take 30-40 minutes for each dose and that just one thing I nebulise every day. Then the I-neb was introduced and this cut nebbing time for tobi to about 15-20 minutes for each dose. Now I have a tobi podhaler which takes about 6-8 minutes to do each dose! But the greatness doesn't stop there. The capsules do not need to be refrigerated as they are a powder not a liquid, everything is delivered to my house (no GP's or chemist required!) and nothing has to be washed afterwards. I'm really impressed with some of the advances in CF happening at the moment, its improving not only quality of life as it means less time doing treatments but also it will improve compliance with treatments as well. I'm going to do a video of me doing my podhaler for my next blog but here is a picture in the meantime. The white tube is not actually the podhaler but the case, the podhaler is inside and much smaller. It does make me cough quite a lot, particularly the first breath and I find I have to do three inhalations per capsule rather than two as they suggest to breathe it all in. Also I am having to try it one month on - one month off rather than being on it constantly (I assume due to cost) which I'm nervous about. However so far I am impressed!

Following on from my last post I'd like to share the latest comment I've had that has upset me. A few weeks ago my friend and I went to see the new Twilight film (judge me all you want...!). The car park for the cinema is lower than the cinema so you have to walk up lots of steps. I tried to park in disabled but it was raining and cold so of course the spaces were all full of people that are not disabled. Therefore we had to walk up loads of steps in the cold and hence I was coughing away. A couple in front of me turned around and asked if I was going to see the James Bond film? I shook my head (coughing too much to speak) to which the man replied, 'good!'. His partner then quite nastily told me I should be in bed not at the cinema! My friend said she was so mad she had to bite her tongue! I was concentrating on trying to breath too much to have any kind of thought at the time. Don't you just love people, more concerned about their film viewing than if the girl behind them can breathe or not!

Merry Christmas to everyone! xx

I can't be fixed!

Today at yoga I was informed by a lady that it must be a pain to have asthma, this a regular thing, people assume I have asthma as I use a blue inhaler like asthma sufferers. I told her I didn't have asthma but cystic fibrosis, she seemed quite shocked and exclaimed 'oh poppet that's even worse!', I wasn't really sure what to say apart from 'yeah it's not great'. She then proceeded to tell me how I should try reiki to help me. I never really know what to say when people try to suggest things to try 'fix' me, I haven't asked them for advice, usually their advice is useless and I don't really want to discuss my treatment plan with a complete stranger. 

Here are all the tips I have been given over the years that I can remember - take an antihistamine, have a glass of water, take reflux medication, stop smoking, have a cough tablet, have a drink of honey, try reiki, go see a doctor, have a lemsip, get out of the cold, eat garlic, go get in bed, have a sit down, have some vitamin C, think positive, have a rest, get a good meal in me, I'm sure there are more that I've forgotten. None of these things are going to make my CF go away, they will not get rid of the mucus on my chest making me cough, increase my lung function to stop me being breathless or get rid of the infections breeding on my chest. A few of them might help me temporarily such a sitting down or having a rest, however this is how I am ALL the time, I can't spend my life sat down although I try my hardest to haha!

I get sick of people trying to 'fix' me. Complete strangers I don't know and don't care to discuss my health with. If it's not advice they are giving me, its useless comments such as 'oh you have a bad cough', yes and the sky is blue and grass is green, thanks for that wonderful insight! I reckon I can't go 48 hours without getting a comment about my cough. Think how annoying it would be if you had a massive spot on your face that you were already self conscious and annoyed about and you can't get rid of it. Imagine people keep telling you about this spot and stupid tips on how to get rid of it. Now imagine this has happened for 27 years! So yes I try to be polite but it gets tiresome to the point I try to not cough, do it quietly to avoid drawing attention or avoid doing activities that make me cough.

Before I went in to hospital but when my chest was getting really bad I forced myself to go to the gym and was coughing lots, a guy stood there and mimicked me coughing then expected me to laugh with him. I didn't find it very funny, in fact I was mortified. 

I know people like to show concern, but please don't try to fix me and please don't tell me I have a cough, sometimes its worse and when it is my family and friends notice and are permitted to comment, this is the only time!! However to the general public, yes I have cough and it's not going away, its here to stay. I can't be fixed, I accepted a long time ago this was how my life was going to be, I live with a life threatening condition, it never gets better, all the treatment I have is to try keep me stable and not to make me better. I know for healthy people this is difficult to understand, they have a problem and they go to the GP and the GP makes it go away, they have a cold and spend a few days in bed and then are back to normal. This is not what happens to people with CF or other long term conditions, I am never going to be better, I have to learn to live with my condition.

12 Weeks!

About two weeks ago I started to get a funny taste in my mouth and funny smell up my nose, and I knew my good patch was over. According to the physio I am not some kind of freak, its the infection I can taste and smell, I feel like i'm some kind of bloody sniffer dog that can detect infection! In addition to this I started to become more productive, I was getting dull pains in my lungs and I was starting to feel more tired.

I coughed my way through yoga and this man (apparently a GP) who has already commented on my cough to the yoga teacher and told her to tell me to take gavisgon came over to me afterwards and started telling me I have reflux and need to take some gavisgon before class. This annoyed me for two reasons, firstly, I do not like coughing infront of everyone and causing the yoga teacher to have to pause during her instructions because i'm so loud, so to have someone blatantly point out it's annoying is upsetting. Secondly, he has been told I have CF so why is he is insisting on interfering and trying to give me medical advice?! Even when I explained to him it was mucus on my chest he kept going on about reflux, I just wanted to yell 'leave me alone you annoying, interfering old man and mind your own business!', instead I just kind of ignored him after a while and walked off. I  was so annoyed I didn't go to yoga this Friday just gone, as clearly my coughing pisses people off.

On Sunday my friends and I did this modelling experience as my friend got us vouchers for Christmas last year. They do your hair and makeup and take photos of you. It was fun and we got some good photos, then we stayed in Manchester and went on a night out. I felt shocking the next day even though I had not drunk any alcohol and I only slept for 3 hours, I had toilet troubles and kept waking up sweating. Here are some photos from the shoot 

I had outpatients on Friday, my weight is down a little at 53.8kg so I was told to try put a bit more on by the dietician. She also confirmed after a lengthy description of my stools (always my favourite thing to do) that I was not taking enough enzymes which has probably contributed to my small weight loss and massive appetite. So stools wise.... pale, fluffy, large stools mean you are not taking enough enzymes, they do not have to be oily, orange, floaty and extremely smelly as I thought. Also going to the toilet five-six times a day is a sign too! I've hardly had any stomach pains though which is weird as i'd expect that if I wasn't digesting my food properly.

My fev1 is a steady 42% which is great and the physio thinks all the exercise I have been doing is helping this. The doctor wanted me to go on IVs though as I do feel as though i'm slipping and when I suggested going on oral Ciprofloxin I was informed one of the psuedomonas infections on my chest (I have two types of Psuedo on my lungs) is very resistant to most things including Ciprofloxin. So I agreed to go on IVs, blugh! I haven't had any since May so done well! So I am starting them tomorrow, i'm really going to try and keep up with the exercise though, it's just so difficult when your head feels all fuzzy and moving your body is like trudging through mud. 

On Saturday was my sister in laws hen night so I was out in Manchester again! We went in to town in a pink limousine, had chinese then went to the Birdcage. I have never seen so many women in one room and so many hen parties! I left at 11.30 with Pete's mum, Pete had gone to watch Man City with his Dad, so we were both staying at his parents. The next day we went to see some friends who recently had a baby and then had a meal at Pete's parents with all the clan over after going to have a look where my sister in law is getting married in a months time. I can't believe it is going to be Pete and I's three year wedding anniversary next week! Here are some pictures from the hen do, I have figured out how to do fancy things to photographs now to make me look better haha!

So today and I am exhausted and not really done much apart from take Alfie out for a short walk!

Pete is doing the Great North Run again in two weeks time and is only going to take sponsorship money if he beats his time from last year. He is going to donate the money to the CF Ward (Ward 6J, St James Hospital, Leeds) that look after me. Because of this there is no just giving page, if anyone would like to pledge to sponsor him please let me know either on here or facebook etc. We would both really appreciate it! He has some new trainers to hopefully run faster and is training ever so hard, he ran home from work last week! Thanks in advance!

Love on the Transplant List

I'm sorry I haven't blogged much, i'm feeling really rough at the moment. I woke up with a cold last Tuesday and started Amoxicillin straight away to try stop it going any further however I don't think it has worked. Sunday was the worst day, I haven't felt so ill for a long time.

I'm at outpatients tomorrow so will find out if my chest has worsened but I'm almost sure it has, I am getting breathless lying down, talking and just walking around the house. I am coughing thick green sputum up all the time and taking a sputum pot with me everywhere, my chest aches and I've taken to not wearing a bra when possible as it feels too tight and restricts me. I am sleeping better than I was which is a positive, I'm not waking in pools of sweat but freezing anymore and I'm coughing less during the night. I'm just so pissed off (excuse my language!) I don't need this now, its December and I have lots coming up which I have been looking forward to. My appetite is poor although slightly improved today (I actually had some breakfast and attempting some lunch) and my skandishakes are a year out of date, they do not taste good!

I am so bored of just lying around and not doing much in order to try rest! I really do hate this time of the month!

There was an excellent programme on Monday called 'Love on the Transplant List' it is about a CF friend of mine called Kirstie and her journey to receive a transplant with her husband Stuart. It was really well put together and I think it reflects brilliantly how difficult every day tasks can be and how difficult it is to watch your other half dying in front of you. It makes me realise how amazing Pete is to know this could happen to me and not be fazed by it. Obviously my CF is not at this stage and hopefully will not be for a long, long time but it raises awareness of CF and makes people realise how important becoming an organ donor is. Please take the time to watch it on BBC IPlayer if you have not seen it. Kirstie and Stuart were great to let this difficult time be filmed and shared, I think they did a fantastic job! Below is a trailer and the link to watch the whole programme



Link for BBC IPlayer - click here

Unexplainable Feelings

I feel like I'm struggling emotionally at the moment and I don't really know why. I have tried to cheer myself up by trying to keep busy but as soon as I'm on my own or doing my physio/nebuliser, I feel this sense pulling on my mind that it's all fake and underneath I am not as happy as I like to make everyone believe, does everyone feel like this?! I can't even explain what is wrong with me, for example on Sunday we'd had Pete's parents around for lunch and had a nice day. Then in the evening I started to do my physio and I just got so annoyed. It occurred to me that I spend an hour of every evening and morning doing my bloody physio, I can watch a whole TV programme doing physio, it doesn't seem a big deal but we started watching 'The Event' on catch up and I just thought to myself 'I'm still going to be doing my physio when this finishes' and I'm going to be doing this every night for the rest of my life. Then I started to imagine what it must be like to not be chained to a demanding treatment regime everyday and wonder how you are going to fit it in around everything. What it must be like to just be able to do things without consulting your doctor or feel like you are arranging a military operation. Anyway the result was that I had a massive cry which involved me telling Pete I just want to be normal, that's all I want.


It doesn't help that I have been off my IVs a week and I already have a cough and getting breathless doing small tasks, Pete even got annoyed with me last night as I kept waking him up coughing. I can't understand this coughing during the night, it's so unusual for me! A day can't go by where someone doesn't comment on my cough, it drives me absolutely crazy. I don't even know what I want people to do instead, I'd just rather not have a cough!


I don't want to ring the hospital, I can put up with it and I'm getting on with my everyday activities, is that what I'm supposed to do? After all I do have CF... or should I tell my team? Sometimes I forgot what is normal for me and what's not. Will they think I'm just paranoid or even worse put me on my IVs again or even worse, make me go into hospital?! If I think about even going into hospital these are the first thoughts that go through my head 'who will look after Alfie and Pete?' 'will my travel insurance still cover me?' 'people will judge me and think I shouldn't be trying to have a baby'. I don't feel unwell like I need to go into hospital but I haven't been in for years and it's only March and I've had 2 sets of IVs already, so I start to get all these random thoughts about what my CF team will suggest!


My friend suggested I ask to be referred to see the CF psychologist, she knows the team and says they are really nice. However I'm not depressed, I just feel abit fed up and I don't want it to be on my records, it's not like they can make my CF go away! She says it could help me though as I don't really tell people how I'm feeling as I'm embarrassed and I don't like people to worry about me. Also people don't understand as people seem to think that if you have a long term illness you just accept your life will be different and learn to deal with it, which I think I tend to do OK with most of the time. I'll see how I feel in a week or so, I usually have these little self pity moments and recover fine.


I actually feel guilty for feeling fed up, there isn't actually that much wrong with my life and much worse things happening in the world. I think all this surrogacy stuff (see my surrogacy blog) along with me not feeling great health wise at the moment is getting me down and I'm worried people especially in the surrogacy world will judge me (as I think some already have). I feel like I constantly have to prove I can cope and my CF is manageable. I just hate CF, it lurks everywhere and seems to taint everything I do no matter how much I try to not let it. In addition to this, my mum is on holiday and I wish she was here. Jeez I really am feeling pathetic today if I want my mummy....! I'm just glad we have got lots of trips and holidays coming up that are sure to cheer me up! If I have a plan or goal I usually feel better!


To end on a positive note after a downer post, here I am on Comic Relief ready to take donations!

Revenge of the Sputum

Well I'm starting to feel slightly better in myself but I can't really say things have improved chest wise yet. I'm coughing less but when I do cough it's so productive and gloopy that I can't budge it especially since my airways seem to tighten up. I went to the toilets in Wetherspoons today which were upstairs and when I got into the cubicle I coughed so hard I started retching and proceeded to bring up some sputum unexpectedly. Luckily none went on my clothes and I grabbed a tissue before it projected out of my mouth! Not the highlight of my day but never mind!

I also kept waking up last night feeling like I couldn't breathe and taking big gasps on air in. It felt like there was a blanket of sputum over my airways, and when I breathed in it made a really loud wheezing noise and loosened the blanket but then when I tried to cough the sputum up I couldn't! In addition to this my sputum has had tiny dots of blood in it, nothing serious but it's still worth noting. Needless to say there is some freaky stuff going on and I just want to get back to normal please!

Yesterday I went to Scope and got a free mini massage. They arranged for a lady to come and do a taster session and I asked her to focus on my shoulders and back as they are tight from all the coughing. I'm thinking about booking a session as it might help with my posture and help me cough better. Just depends on if I can afford it really! My yoga teacher suggested I get a massage to help relax the tension since I can't go to yoga classes whilst on my IVs, so maybe I will!

Today I was supposed to meet my new mentee for an introduction session which is why I was at Wetherspoons, but she didn't turn up. So instead me and the other lady from Scope had some lunch so it wasn't a wasted journey! I had a curry that tasted more like a chinese, very strange!

Other than that I've been reading my book and learning quite abit about the first world war in the process and doing my knitting! I'm ashamed to say I haven't taken Alfie out for a walk yet this week, but at the end of the day that's why we got a small dog that doesn't need much exercise. A good run around the garden after the birds keeps him fit and I have promised him I will take him for a walk tomorrow! That's about my week so far! See you later folks!

Lost Battle

Well I'm afraid the cold won.

I started IV's today, I'm quite fed up if I'm honest. It's only about 4 or 5 weeks since my last set of IV's.

After my last post I developed a terrible productive cough and by the Friday I was coughing up about 2 sputum pots worth of sputum a day, I usually cough up about half a pot in a day. I'm not sure how much one sputum pot holds, maybe 60mls? I literally had to have a pot with me at all times as every time I coughed, sputum came up and it was large and thick. I was also coughing sputum up in the night which I don't usually do and waking up covered in sweat.

So I called the hospital on Thursday and asked if I could start oral ciprofloxacin, I was told by a Doctor I don't know that I needed to come to outpatients on the next day. So I went to outpatients the next day which was a pain as the fridge man was coming anytime before 1pm and my appointment was at 1.10pm, so Pete had to finish work at lunchtime as the guy still hadn't arrived by 12 and I didn't know how long he would take when he arrived. In the end he arrived at 12.15 and was gone by 12.30, but Pete had set off by then. Never mind!

At outpatients I was informed that in future to ask for one of the main CF doctors as they would have just put me straight on IVs or just told me to take cipro without seeing me, how frustrating!! Anyway my lung function was actually up to 44%, my weight was stable and my sats were 'acceptable' so I was sent home on cipro and told to phone back on Monday to update them.

Saturday was a horrible day, I think the cipro made my whole body ache and was coughing so much it was hurting my back and shoulders. I had to cancel the night out for my friends birthday and my friend wanted me to at least go around to see them before they went into town, but I couldn't face having to cough in to a pot in front of my friends and their friends who I don't even know. I hate seeing people cough up sputum and I have CF, so I can imagine how much it freaks other people out and it's just so embarrassing!

On Sunday afternoon I started to feel better, I was coughing less and even though I was still coughing loads of sputum up, it was less then previously. So on Monday I called the hospital and said I was improving, so I was told to give it a few more days on the cipro.

By Thursday I'd had enough, I am still coughing, there is just sputum sat constantly in my throat and in my chest, when I breath I can hear it bubbling and I'm starting to get headaches from the coughing. However now I am also getting breathless easily, for example I cleaned the table last night after tea and couldn't catch my breath to shout Alfie to come in from outside. When I do my physio it's like my chest tightens up and even though I know there is sputum there I can't get it up. So I've started IV's today, tobramycin and ceftazidime, I asked for tobramycin as I think it's better than colomycin, plus it's once day so easier to organise around!

My lung function today was fev1 39% fvc 54%, weight is still stable but my sats are 94% which seems low for me. Nobody seems concerned about it though, I suppose it just backs up the fact I'm feeling breathless.

I have been up to other things, my like doesn't revolve around CF even though you might think so reading this blog at times! When you have CF you soon learn that the world carries on and so must you. Pete and I went for Tapas last night, I watched Come Dine with Me on Saturday and she made Tapas and I just had an urge for it so we went the next day. My knitting project is coming on well and I can now cast on and cast off, wahoo! I've also been doing my voluntary work and meeting my new mentee this week and I'm going for a massage session/training which should be good!

Old Friend/Enemy

Today I commenced on my old friend/enemy, the home IV's.

I think I had already mentioned that I was feeling about rough after Christmas and then on Saturday I woke up with a cold. By Sunday I felt quite sh!te to be honest and couldn't even lie down properly in bed as it just made me cough all the time, so I spent the night propped up to stop coughing.

The snot from my nose and mucus from my chest is never ending, I want to just stick a vacuum down there and suck it all out! I have little energy and I'm getting headaches from the coughing and my sinuses. So on Monday I called to start IV's, it's not going to sort it's self out and the longer I leave it the worse it will get, plus the doctor said to start them if I felt myself slipping. I've come to the conclusion they like to treat my exacerbation's (that's what they call it) as soon as possible, rather than see how it goes because there is generally only one way it's going to go, and it's not positive!

So I started IV's today, my fev1 is 42% so down 4% from last time but still quite good for me. My weight is up a tiny bit, which I knew it would be because my belly has been feeling slightly flabby and my trousers abit tight! They took a swab from my throat like they do every time, I'm 99.9% sure it will come back saying I have a virus! The doctor checked I'd had my flu jab, apparently alot of naughty patients haven't and have got flu and swine flu, some have it even though they have had the jab! I assured her I was the gold star patient and do everything I am told to do. She says it's fine to cut my iron tablets down to two a day which I've been doing for the past week or so, as they are what is causing my tummy problems.

That's about it! I'm on Colomycin and Ceftazidime and I also am the new owner of a pari pep, it's like a pep mask but a mouth piece rather than a mask. To be honest I don't think it's as good from my short practise with the physio earlier, but I'll give it a go. The only reason I have it is for vanity reasons, I complained the pep mask rubs my make up off which is a pain when I'm ready to go out and need to do my physio, it's also a pain when I have my glasses on as the mask pushes them up. So hence I have been provided a pari pep to try out.

Pari Pep below and Pep Mask at the bottom

Parking and Walking

Well our boiler is fixed and we have heating in our bedroom, wahoo!

I haven't been up to much really, I'm trying to go to yoga twice a week as I can't seem to be able to force myself to go swimming when it's cold! The usual has happened at the gym, it gets cold and snows and everyone parks in the disabled bays! So when I went last Monday the only spaces left were ones right at the back of the carpark, so I parked right in front of the entrance, halfway on the pavement. They clearly have no intention of doing anything about people parking in the spaces, so I shall park there from now on if necessary.

I started my voluntary work again on Friday and have a new mentee, she seems nice and I'm meeting her again in two weeks. We were chatting for about two hours!

On Friday Pete and I met my brother and his girlfriend for a few drinks at the pub, I got to drive Pete's car for the first time since he got it as I was the designated driver for the evening. Pete thinks his car is better than mine because it's a BMW, well now it's snowing we will see who has the better car since his is a rear wheel drive and was sliding around on our road yesterday, he is working form home today which means I have to put up with him haha.

We went for a meal yesterday for late lunch/early tea. It started to snow again whilst we were driving around and we did consider going back home, however we were too hungry! We had to park near the restaurant as obviously I cannot walk far at all in this type of weather, we literally parked less than five minutes away and on the way back I was coughing really hard. So we parked on double yellow as with a disabled badge you can park on double yellow as long as your car isn't causing an obstruction which is wasn't as far as we could tell. When we got back, we had a parking fine!! A ticket officer was walking past so Pete queried the ticket, the man said there was yellow lines on the pavement which means nobody can park there, I know this and if we had seen them we wouldn't have parked there but they were completely covered in snow! The ticket man said if we took photos and sent an email we would get the ticket removed (he hadn't issued it so couldn't remove it), so fingers crossed it gets cancelled!

Sometimes I wonder why everyone seems to make parking so difficult for people with disabilities, do people think disabled people disappear in winter so their spaces are available for others to use, or that we can see things through the snow? Perhaps I shouldn't be trying to have a normal life and stay inside all winter. All I want to do is go to yoga or go for meal without having to walk far and end up coughing my guts up!

I imagine a few people wonder why I can't walk far from my car but then I can take Alfie for a walk. So let me explain........ When I take Alfie for a walk I wrap up really warm, I even put tights under my jeans and wear thermal socks etc. I do cough at first because of the temperature change, but I'm expecting it, I am prepared and I accept it as I'm going for a walk and I know in the long run it's good for me to get the exercise. Afterwards I come home, get a warm drink and sit down and recover.
When I'm out and about doing the things I do, I'm not wrapped up as well, I'm constantly going into different temperatures so my chest can't adjust. I can't recover and it's not nice to be constantly having a coughing fit and people looking at me and commenting on my cough.
Think of it like this - people go to the gym and jog for half an hour on the treadmill, but they wouldn't want to jog everywhere would they? Well walking Alfie is my jogging, but I don't want to be 'jogging' all the time do I?!

Sore Chest

On Friday I started to develop a really horrible productive cough and just couldn't stop coughing and coughing stuff up, it was never ending! I did an extra hypertonic saline to try shift some mucus but no sooner had I done it there was more to replace it. I was planning to go swimming but unless the gym don't mind bits of green mucus floating all over their pool, it wasn't going to happen! By Friday afternoon I was getting pains in the middle of my chest, especially on the right side. I didn't sleep well as I coughed during the night and the pain didn't help. On Saturday it was still bad but by Saturday afternoon I was coughing less and by Sunday night the pain seemed to have gone. I'm still really productive but the cough seems to have calmed down abit. I was going to call my team on Monday if it still hurt but I have Outpatients next week so since the pain has gone I didn't see the point.
I don't know if it's infection, or the cold and weather. It seems I was on my IVs at this time last year which makes me think it could be because its turning cold. I always have a more difficult time during winter, it's cold, your don't get as much exercise and there are loads of colds going around. I still haven't had my flu jab because my GP's are a pain in the arse and basically try to make it as difficult as possible!

Pete and I went to see the film 'Let Me In' on Saturday, its about a young girl that is a vampire and makes friends with this young boy. We both thought it was really good, it's not glamorous or sexy like your typical vampire film these days, it's more of what I think it would be like to be a vampire!

On Sunday we went to see Pete's family and went to this buffet lunch, there were starters and a carvery and desserts. You also could get pasta cooked infront of you and pick what went in it, it was really good for a buffet! Pete's got an Iphone now and has this app where you speak to this cartoon and then it repeats what you have said but in a squeaky voice, Pete's nephew who is about 2 and a half found it so funny and was laughing loads, it was really cute!

The other night Pete was making tea and found a caterpillar in the lettuce! We didn't want to put it outside as thought it would die so have put it in a jug and are giving it bit's of lettuce each day. After surviving on a lettuce in the fridge for 6 days, I felt it our duty to try give it a chance! I have tried to find out what type of caterpillar it is but I can't find out, so not sure what to do with it! Most stuff on the Internet is how to kill them! I can't see it this morning amongst the leaves so hope it hasn't crawled away!

Today is remembrance day and it's about to be 11am so I shall finish my entry for today and take a few minutes to be silent xx

Halloween Party

Well my nose is back to its normal self, wahoo! Although its very shiny so I'm going to give myself one of those mud facial things tonight to see if it helps!

On Saturday it was our Halloween party which went really well. No-one was a party pooper and didn't dress so that was good! We had seven people sleep over which was abit of a squeeze but we managed it! By the time I woke up the next morning Pete had made them all bacon sandwiches and tidied up alot of the mess, he's such a good husband! Although I do think he has learnt from the last party we had when I had a go at him for doing nothing...

I've been tired ever since the party though. You don't realise at the time how much energy you are using getting everything together and making the food, sorting people our etc, because of your adrenaline. But then once it's all over it catches up and even though I just laid around all day Sunday once we had put all the decorations away and cleaned up, I'm still feeling tired three days later. This weather isn't helping, I officially hate winter. The thing is, I quite like autumn because of the colours and also loads of good stuff is on the TV hehe, however every time I go outside it's 'cough cough', I feel so wheezy today after taking Alfie for a walk and coughing so much. I felt sick yesterday after coughing all the way to my car which was literally a five minute walk. It's not like I don't get wrapped up, it's just the change from warm to cold or vice versa, it's like it freaks my lungs out and they have a fit! It's also depends on how long ago I did my physio, like if I go our first thing after doing my morning physio it's not as bad as say if I went out at 5pm so due my evening physio in a few hours.

Another thing that's bugging me and I have no idea why it's happening, is that I keep waking up in cold sweats during the night. I'm not warm but I wake up and I'm dripping from head to toe and my pillow and sheets are all wet, it's totally gross and uncomfortable and I don't know what's causing it!

On Sunday we found out that my mums car has been stolen. They broke into her house whilst her, my brother and girlfriend were asleep upstairs. Luckily Murphy was in bed with my mum and not in the kitchen, because that's where the keys were, as who knows what they would have done to Murphy if he started barking at them. When my other brother came home with his girlfriend, the front door was wide open which is when it was discovered what had happened. It's scary to think that someone was in the house, one of my brothers could have come home whilst they were still in there or Murphy could have barked and my brother gone down to investigate. Some people are just scum!

Anyway here are some pictures from the party

Smooth 2 weeks

I finished my IV's yesterday and I think it's the first time since I can remember that I've had a smooth course of IV's and have managed to maintain a relatively normal life whilst on them!

My port hasn't itched or being sore, the only problem I had is when my needle was changed half way through, the area hurt for a day or two afterwards and towards the end, the muscle was starting to feel tender. The dressing came off yesterday and needle out and there were no lumps or bumps, weeping or crust, just abit of flaky skin and some redness from ripping off the dressing. Wahoo! So we have sorted that problem which is great!

I haven't felt particularly poorly whilst on the IV's, abit tired and groggy but nothing compared to usual. There a few things that may have contributed to this a) I have tried to stay well hydrated through drinking powerades, they also give you energy b) I have taken anti sickness tablets (ondansetron) before every dose of IVs c) I have 2gx3 a day ceftaz in the first week then upped to 3gx3 a day in the second week. Obviously there could be other factors such as what was making me require IVs in the first place, but I think the listed things have helped.

Pete said something like this the other night...
Pete: 'did they increase your IV to 3g?'
Me: 'yes why?'
Pete 'well why aren't you tired then? usually when you are on your IV's you are sleeping by now but instead you are jabbering on, I like getting the peace and quiet'

Charming...! But a perfect illustration of how much better these IVs have gone!

My weight has increased to 56kg which I am not surprised with, I can't stop eating lately, I'm going to turn into a right fattie!

So at the end of IV's my fev1 is 39% which I am disappointed with but hopefully by my next outpatients appointment it will have gone up abit more. I was hoping the hypertonic saline might have helped it increase as I've heard stories of it helping people get their lung function up by 10%!

Since I finished my IV's yesterday I have felt chesty already, sometimes I wonder if it's in my head! However I went to yoga this morning and was coughing whereas I did some more bulb planting on Wednesday and didn't cough at all. I also have gotten a headache yesterday and today and it feels like its my sinuses. It's almost like I've stopped the IVs and the mucus is building up already!

I'm going to see a scary film with my friend this evening, I watched the Grudge 3 the other night and it wasn't even that scary however when I went to the toilet in the night I saw something white out of the corner of my eye and ran back into bed! I get scared so easy, so maybe this isn't such a good idea.....

Silly Cold!

Well this cold is officially trying to make my life a misery but I’m not going to let it!

It's not like I’m in bed dying or anything, I’m still out and about, but it's limiting me and I don't like being limited. Plus I feel it's dragging me closer and closer to IV's which I am not happy with, it would be OK if IV's were as simple as I have a needle in and have some antibiotics pumped into me for two weeks. However it’s not so simple is it? Its two weeks of pure misery and feeling like poop, and I still feel like I am recovering from the last lot! Surely such aggressive and miserable treatment should be rewarded by weeks of feeling good and having a life? Well I feel my last course of IV's should give me at least 12 good weeks, it owes me that much!

I just have loads of mucus in my throat constantly and it tastes horrible which is making me feel sick. It's dripping and sticking and making my chest crackle. It's causing me to do very loud coughs that make all my veins pop out of my head and makes people feel the need to comment on that I have a bad cough (yes thanks Sherlock), I am spending alot of my time trying not to loosen anything to try not to cough because it just uses so much energy it tires me out! What I do is try store it all until I’m on my own, then just let it all out, and then spend 5 minutes waiting for the spinning in my head and dots in front of my eyes to disappear. The worst thing though is it is just making me tired which makes me in a bad mood, which makes me feel miserable. I am not sleeping well either which is probably contributing, I’m sweating and having freaky dreams, I assume because I am back on the voriconazole.

Anyway the good news is, I have my mini back! Wahoo!!!! They have cleaned it too, yeay! Friday morning was a good morning as she pulled up outside my house and we went for a little drive together, Gemma and mini back together at last! I'm going to be really sad when she goes, I’m not particularly excited about getting my new car because I love my mini so much!

On Friday afternoon I helped my Nana look after my cousins little girl who is two years old. Let’s just say I am now sick of Peppa Pig and Pingu! She’s lovely though and it was good fun! On Monday we had to take Alfie to the vets, he couldn't walk and was whimpering in pain. It meant I had to miss yoga damn it! She thinks he has hurt his back so gave him an injection for the pain and he did limp around for a few more days but now he is back to his normal self. He needs to realise how small he is and stop jumping off everything, no matter how big it is!

On Saturday night I had to cancel seeing my friends which was disappointing. They were going into town which I had said I couldn't do as I want to reserve myself for London, however they were going to come to mine first before going into town. However I was really tried after working at the shop and the dogs had been on their own all day (looking after Murphy too) so I had to take them for a walk, then cook tea and get a bath and do physio. Alfie was sick everywhere from excitement when I got home and then got poo on his paw on our walk so he had to have bath just adding to my list of things to do, least he is only small! Pete was out so I had no help and I was just exhausted so had to cancel, I just couldn't get everything done by the time they arrived and then sit and talk for a few hours, just wanted to turn into a vegetable in front of the TV!

I am so excited about our trip to London, I have planned what we are doing each day and bought a little map of London and the tube so I can plan how we will get to each place. I'm going to be so tired when we get back, but I don't even care, it will be worth it!

New Address!

Thought I'd do a blog whilst watching the live leaders debate, quite enjoying these debates, I am actually learning what the parties policies are for a change. No idea who I am going to vote for though, not too keen on Nick Clegg, think he is abit cocky and is all talk!

So we are all moved in to our new home and I finally have the internet after not having it for 8 days, the fiasco with BT did end up with me losing internet connection in the end, talk about speaking too soon!

The past week has been hectic, stressful and tiring. Surprisingly I still feel really well, I don't know how I would have gotten through the past week if I hadn't.

We got quite alot of stuff packed up before we got the keys on Friday, infact one side of our living room was full of boxes and the flat still looked full and nothing missing! We got the keys Friday afternoon and started painting the bedroom straight away. I must point out here that Pete and I have never decorated before and we didn't have much of a clue, infact we stood in Homebase for abit before we even knew what to buy! Anyway we got started and it seemed to turn out ok. The room was originally baby blue and we have painted it lilac and a very pale yellow, almost cream colour. We then painted all the skirting boards and wardrobes with white gloss. The paint didn't seem to affect my chest very much, we kept the room well ventilated, however Pete's chest seems to have suffered quite bad, it could be from dust though when moving furniture. He has developed a terrible cough, he says its a pain coughing all the time and not being able to breathe properly, yeah I know that feeling... I must admit, his coughing is annoying me, how is that even possible?! I've am even letting him use my salbutamol inhaler as he has been wheezing, bless.

We finished on Sunday and then moving day was Monday. When we got home on Sunday Pete packed the rest of our stuff, I was told to stay out of the way and prepare myself for tomorrow, well I didn't need telling twice!

Monday was all day moving and unpacking stuff. My mum, Nana, her husband and brother helped out, and my cousin owns a removal company (how handy!) so he helped us with the big stuff. Our sofa wouldn't fit through the lounge door so we had to take the window out and pass it through there!

It's now Thursday and we are pretty much settled in, just need to get some plumbing work done so we can have a dishwasher as well as a washing machine. Alfie is still abit unsettled, infact I still don't feel like it's 'ours' yet but I'm sure I will in a few days. I'll try take some pictures tomorrow to post on here.

I've tried to be complaint with my treatment and I have been, apart from one tobi nebuliser I missed and that was because I forgot to do it, not because I skipped it on purpose, I was just so busy I forgot! I even did my physio on Tuesday night at 10.30pm after a meal out with Pete's parents, I admit it's bloody hard work trying to fit it in when so busy and tired, but I think I've done well.

Eskimo Alfie!

Alfie and I went for a nice walk on Friday in the snow, Alfie got to wear his new waterproof, snuggley puffer jacket. Here he is modelling it before our walk

Here we are on the walk, the coat held up well! Alfie didnt get all wet and miserable, and we walked for about 20-25 minutes. Amazingly I hardly coughed, sometimes I think its gets so cold you daren't breathe in heavily enough to do a cough and once you start you can't stop so best to try not cough in the first place!

On Friday at about 4.30pm I attempted to drive around to the estate agents to drop a few things off, however couldn't get my car out of its spot due to the ice. So I had to walk to the estate agents (this walk DID involve alot of coughing even though it about a 10 minute walk in total), I was not impressed! I then called my brother and got him to take me in his car to find some grit. It took me forever to get a spade out of the shed, I was coughing everywhere and all the stupid boxes for the Christmas decorations fell on me because a certain husband of mine had not packed them in properly! Anyway in the end we got 3 buckets worth from a grit box and my brother kindly put 2 buckets worth on the ground so my car won't get stuck again. I have 1 bucket saved in my flat for future emergencies!

On Saturday night Pete and I went for a meal with the same brother and his girlfriend. I already know his girlfriend, we went to university together and they met at out wedding! Just call Pete and I cupid! It was weird at first because my brother is my little brother (he's 19) and my friend is the same age as me and it is always going to be weird your friend dating your brother... However I have gotten used to the idea now and we had a good time last night so alls good. We saw Avatar, what a fantastic film. You must go see it! Make sure you see it in 3D, it's just amazing!

Now onto the cf stuff.... yawn!

These skandishakes are messing with my system and by system I mean my digestion and toilet habits. I have constipation and are taking 2 movicols a day, theres abit of movement but not much. I have also been taking peppermint oil tablets as I think I had trapped wind, I kept getting spasms at the bottom of my chest and feeling bloated, it seems to have stopped but I am still taking them to make sure it doesn't return.

Now I thought I must be getting constipation because I wasn't taking enough enzymes with the skandishakes, so I started taking 4 instead of 3. But it seems to be getting worse and my mum said that she thought taking too many enzymes can dry out your bowls. So now I think I may have been taking too many. However I am not having anymore skandishakes until clinic tomorrow as I need to discuss this with my dietitian, I do not want to be feeling sick and bloated over Christmas!

I am also still getting the dizzy, light headed spells everyday and I can't find my blood sugar reader thing to see if its low blood sugars or the voriconazole causing it. I think it's the voriconazole as eating when I feel like this does not seem to help. However I have been having a skandishake every morning and its about lunchtime I tend to get this funny feeling, for about 2-3 hours. So it could be a sugary skandishake making my bloods go low a few hours later or my morning dose of voriconazole making me feel funny (which is a listed side effect).

Who knew so many problems could be caused by some high calorie shakes and a tablet?!

Halloween

Hello!

I don't seem to have blogged in over a week which is abit unlike me! I don't think I have had anything interesting to say really! I'm trying to think what I have been upto and my mind is blank!

Firstly I have been feeling abit fed up because I am starting to feel tired and achy which is a sign to me that I need to go on IVs, I'm really annoyed as i have a few things coming up that I don't want to be on IVs for. Firstly I went to a Halloween party on Saturday then next Saturday I am staying at my friends in Sheffield to go on a night out and then next Thursday we are going to a wedding. So I am not sure what to do, on the IVs or off the IVs I am not going to feel great, I'll probably feel worse on the IVs and won't be able to stay at my friends but I could still go over for the fireworks etc. Anyway I'll see how it goes.

I met someone at the Halloween party on Saturday who 'used to have a friend that have cf', the 'used' to word is always nice to hear..... not! Anyway it was nice to talk to someone who actually knows what cf is, I had a little joke that Pete married me because he doesn't like commitment and knows I won't be around forever, which we found quite funny hehe. Pete admitted it wasn't for the money..!

We also played this game where you pass a grapefruit to each other without using your hands, I was absolutely rubbish at it and had to sit out in the end because it was making me laugh too much and I was coughing to death!

Here are some pictures from the night, Pete is the Zombie and the second picture is playing pass the grapefruit (should have been a pumpkin!)

Pete and I went to see a mortgage advisor on Saturday. They can take my benefits into account which is good because it means we can actually get a mortgage (with some help from the in-laws)! yeay! We are going to start looking at bungalows. We have decided a bungalow would be better because I get out of breath carrying washing etc from one room to another so stairs would make it even more difficult. In addition we have to think about the future as my health gradually declines, when stairs will become even more of a problem.

It must be nearly winter, colds are here!

I went to Yoga as planned on Friday, I really enjoyed it although I discovered I am not very flexible and also that everyone in my class was at least 10 years older than me or more. Whilst you do the stretches etc you have to take deep breathes and we also did some meditation where you concentrate on your breathing so I hope it really helps. I have tried yoga once before, many years ago, I think I was about 16. I absolutely hated it, all I remember is there was alot of standing straight like a tree, there was none of that in this class, it was alot more productive. I told the lady about my CF at the start, basically I told her I had a port in my arm that might mean I couldn't do some of the stretches with my left arm if it involved bending it around my back etc and also if I started coughing just to ignore me (which I didn't do anyway).
I did in the changing room though and some woman started going on about my cough and that make sure I didn't give swine flu to anyone, she was really loud and everyone could hear so I put her straight. So then she was all apologetic (making me feel guilty) saying I looked at fit as a fiddle and she told me I took loads of tablets (yes I do know that) then her mate was commenting on me coming to the gym. I was like 'hello I just want to get changed and go'...! Everyone was gawping at me in the room, I was mortified!

At the weekend Pete and I went out into town for his mates birthday. It wasn't the best night for various reasons I can't go into. Then on Sunday we went to see the inlaws for a nice Sunday roast, even Alfie came with us and I was trying to use the clicker training (which he did take to) to get him to behave near our nephew. Alfie still barks at him and has to stay on his lead and now the baby is running around and loves Alfie, its difficult to keep them apart. So basically everytime Alfie didn't bark at the baby and was well behaved I clicked the clicker to tell him this was a good behaviour and gave him a treat. Eventually the clicker will become the reward itself as he will associate it with getting treats i.e. been happy and pressing a clicker is alot easier than rooting through the treats box each time he is good. Obviously you still have to give him treats sometimes, he's not stupid! If you ever did psychology at A-level/degree you will probably remember Pavlovs dogs, it's the same concept with the classical conditioning.

On Monday Pete had the day off work, he has had a cold since we came back from Thailand and he was quite bad on Monday. I tried to be as sympathetic as possible, I even slept on the sofa on Sunday night, he was snoring and breathing all funny and I couldn't exactly kick him out of bed could I? I ran him a bath, went to the chemist for him but by the afternoon my nice streak had worn off before guess who else started to feel rubbish? Yes that would be moi..! So my gym routine was already ruined although I did take Alfie for a walk so still got some exercise. I am gargling TCP twice a day and using vicks first defense but I have developed a productive cough and my throat is starting to hurt. I have my flu jab today, I'm not telling the nurse else she probably won't let me have it.

I have started on the thank you cards this week to send out to all the wedding guests, that's a job and a half! I have to cut 100 pieces of A4 in half with the smallest scissors ever as Pete broke the big ones when we were opening all the wedding presents. Then I have to write in them all and stick them into some other card, see what I mean?! I can't let Pete help me, I can't trust him to do it properly...!