Fantasies

I want to thank everyone that commented on my last blog post, I think I've had writers block for a few months and felt my blog was getting slightly boring, but I guess that's CF in a nutshell and relates to my previous blog, CF is boring and is very repetitive!

The post wasn't a cry for help, it was just thoughts I had that I wanted to put down in writing and sort out in my head. Sometimes once I start to write them, it starts to make sense why it is how it is and I can apply some logic to how I'm feeling. I know my family and friends love me, that's why I hate it when I have these panicked moments where I think nobody gives a damn about me. The world and relationships aren't perfect and sometimes you have to learn to deal with it along with everything else.

Today I'm stuck inside with not much to do as our house has stuff everywhere, I am going to go crazy! Our bedroom ceiling is finally being fixed so we had to empty the room out completely, which means there is a dressing table and drawers in the kitchen and an extra bed and other junk in the spare room. I had to get up at 7 today (after getting up at 6.20 to put IVs on and going back to bed) to try to be ready for when they arrived which I failed at miserably, the electrician arrived at 8.15, I mean who works that early?! Luckily Pete was still here as I was about to get in the bath. The electrician left and so did Pete and then I frantically tried to be ready for when the plasterers arrived in 10-15 minutes. Not easy when everything is dotted around your house! I'm happy to say I was dressed and even had some makeup on by the time they arrived. So now my home is taken over by men and I'm hiding in the living room trying to stop Alfie barking every 5 minutes, I think we shall escape at some point to go for a nice walk!

I am so excited about finishing my IVs on Wednesday, I fantasize about getting my dressing off my arm and my eyes looking normal again. They won't stop weeping and are all red like I've being crying, they are dry and I want to itch them all the time. It's driving me insane! My skin near my armpit has gone all sore so I've had to sort out my dressing for my needle so there are no sticky bits on the sore part, this means I have loads of padding going all the way under my armpit. Again, driving me crazy... want to itch, want to itch, ohhh I can't wait to rub some moisturiser on it! I woke up Friday night and I'd ripped some of my dressing off in my sleep, oh hello top of needle poking out and hello having to try sort own dressing out at 3am with one hand, how fun! SO yes very excited for Wednesday!