Keeping Cool

I finished the cipro on Monday and I can't say I'm feeling any better, worse if anything as I had forgotten that cipro has nasty side effects like all over body aching!

I'm not extremely ill or anything I just feel like I'm in trance all the time. You know when you drive somewhere but you turn off and wonder how you got there without crashing, that how I feel all the time. I'd doing the motions but my mind isn't contributing as much as normal, its like I'm outside of my body so I can't feel how exhausted I am. I think this can give a false perception of how I feel as I'm still doing everything I need to so from the outside I seem OK, and if I really need to I can switch my brain back in to gear to have a short conversation etc. I think it's some kind of technique I've established to get on with life, if you turn your mind off it uses less energy I suppose! I have less battery power so I reserve it for daily tasks. I don't feel like this all the time so i know it's not normal.

I also keep getting a sharp pain in my right lung that passes after a few seconds. However when its there it's not nice and it's usually when I need to cough and it hurts so much to take a deep breath, which you need to do to cough. It happens more when I lay down, no idea why!

In addition to this I know my chest is struggling as I'm breathless easier and my shoulders and neck ache constantly. I can tell my posture has worsened and this is because when you struggle to breathe your body makes you hunch and lift your shoulders as this makes it easier somehow. I don't even realise I'm doing it, I'm trying to sit up straight but it makes it ache more and if I try to relax my shoulders and move them away from my ears, they go back up as soon as I stop thinking about it. I could do with a really good massage by someone qualified but I don't think I could afford it as I think sports therapists are quite expensive and I don't know if it would help really.

So I called up yesterday to start some IV's, I'm fed up and just want to feel less like a robot and faster than a slug!

I'm starting my IVs next Wednesday, they couldn't fit me in this week, a sign that they are busy! I have to cancel my flu jab as can't have it whilst on my IVs, thankfully the CF ward have started doing them again though so I don't have to try book another through my GPs, it's a total nightmare! The CF ward stopped doing them for a few years to save money, however I think they may have realised lots of patients don't get them if they have to go through their GP and it ended up costing them more due to increasing numbers of inpatients during winter and patients requiring home IVs! That's my theory anyway!

IVs create a problem for me as we are staying in a hotel for 2 nights whilst I will be on the IVs. The hotel is paid for with no refund and we have bought the tickets for the surrogacy UK AGM already, plus I really want to go. The hotel rooms don't have fridges but thankfully have baths and I've requested a room near reception to make things easier for me. I looked at buying a portable mini fridge however the minimum temperature they reach is 18 degrees, how can that be classed as a fridge?! So I've borrowed a cool box off my dad and going to test it out to see how cool it stays over 1-2 days, the drugs need to be kept at 2-9 degrees so failing that I'll have to see if I can keep my IVs in a staff fridge! I'm slightly nervous about everyone at surrogacy UK seeing my needle etc but to be honest I'm sure it will be covered anyway by a cardigan as it's not exactly warm is it?!