taking it easy

I went to bed on Friday at half 9 cos I was feeling all achy and couldn't bear to stay awake for the sake of it. I did go to the gym beforehand and this woman started talking to me whilst I was on the treadmill, the conversation went this this

her: 'I cannot believe your so slim when you only walk on there'
me: 'yes well I have my reasons'
her: 'got a bad back?' (cos my hands were on my hips cos I was out of breathe
me: 'erm no, I have cystic fibrosis'
her: 'oh right, does this get rid of the water then?'
me: 'what?'
her: 'the water on your lungs does it loosen it?'
me: (totally amazed she actually seems to know abit about cf) 'well maybe abit but it's more to try keep my lung function up and healthy'
her: 'how long do you do this for then?'
me: '13 minutes, how long do you run for?'
her: 'oh about an hour'
me: (feeling slightly embarrassed at my pathetic 13 minutes of walking) 'wow wish I could run for that long!'
her: 'well you would if you could, how do you stay so slim?'
me: 'well I don't really put weight on, sometimes I have to take calorie shakes to keep it on'
We then talked about the state of the gym and things, at first I was thinking, don't talk to me silly woman I'm out of breath! But by the end she was ok, she said she had seen me around before and wondered how I had such a nice figure! Good to know people are watching me.....not!

Saturday I slept all afternoon and decided I could not face going out into town as has been arranged for about the past month. I was really gutted as I was really looking forward to it, but the state I'm in at the moment I could not face walking around in the cold, been tired and feeling even worse the next day because I had walked around in the cold and got drunk to make myself feel better. Plus these amoxicillin are making me feel abit sick so I don't think drinking would have helped this.

So I said everyone could still meet at mine because I wanted to see them and then after x-factor they could go out and I wouldn't. In the end they didn't even go out, 2 people dropped out and the other 2 said they felt like rubbish but still came around but didn't go into town which was nice of them. Now I'm not been funny but they kept going about feeling rubbish and when I'm sat there with pains in my chest, all gunk in my throat and chest, my head hurts and I'm so tired I'm really having to concentrate to follow what they are saying and I don't moan atall I cannot tolerate people moaning cos they have a hangover or feel abit 'tired' and keep going on about it, 'oh I feel crap' 'oh I can't eat', so dramatic! I did have 2 small glasses of wine to keep me going, they didn't even leave till after 11, I know it's not their fault cos x-factor was on so late, but god I was ready for bed! It's hard work!

My friends do sometimes annoy me, they don't mean to of course. You see they work and live at home, I don't work and don't live with my parents. You seeing a problem here? They have lots of money and have no idea what it takes to look after your own home, I have no money and appreciate the small things it does take to run your own home. Anyway they are my friends and I love them, but sometimes it's hard work.

Today Pete and I are going for lunch at his parents, I feel abit better after a nice lie in, so we will see how it goes. I think not going out was the right thing to do.

I would also like to mention that although i am glad Alexandra won x-factor and not JLS, I do not think the winners song is a very good choice. Hallelujah is supposed to be a very pure and raw song in my eyes and they have cheesed it up with choirs in the background and loud singing and wailing. I will not be buying it xx