Poor Port!

I went for my port flushing yesterday, it has to be flushed every 4-6 weeks and my outpatients appointment isn't until the end of April.

I rang up on Tuesday and they booked me in for Wednesday at 5pm. I got there at 5pm and noticed they have put a nice smoking shelter right by the disabled spaces and hospital entrance, which I also noticed hardly anyone was using, it's obviously too hard to walk the extra metre. I was confused though, I'm sure there are signs saying no smoking on hospital grounds... anyway... enough smoker bashing for one day...

I had to wait 20 minutes in a room before anyone came to see me, then when she did it was a ward nurse I didn't know and she said she just needed to do someone elses port and then would be with me. Panic set in, someone new doing my port!!! All the memories flooded back of strangers doing my port before, jabbing me, using the wrong equipment, having a million goes determined to get it in. My palms started to sweat and my anxiety kicked in. If you know me, you will know I hate having my port touched as it is. I can't touch it myself, I scream inside my head when I have to touch it to put suncream on etc. I can touch around the area but not the actual bit where the port is. When the nurses are cleaning it and putting the needle in, I wiggle my toes and touch my face with my hands, I turn into a nervous freak. I actually wanted to run away, I can't even run!!!

She came in at about quarter to 6 and took ages to set up the stuff, whilst doing this she chatted to me about everything she could possibly think of. A chatty person, taking forever to set everything up. Not good signs, signs of nervousness! Seriously my hands were covered in a layer of swear and I think my forehead might have started too! She then asked me if they usually just flush it with hepflush or saline too, I said 'just hepflush I think but that really hurts if you miss' (it goes into your tissue and stinks really bad). She got some saline out whilst saying 'I do loads of ports and haven't missed for ages'. Yeah I'd feel abit more confident if you didn't get the saline out after my comment!

So she cleaned it etc and attempted to put the needle in. I say attempt because I have no idea what she did as I wasn't looking but it was not putting a needle in! She was too gentle, the nurses usually hold around the port or arm and stick it in, it takes about 2 seconds if that. I looked at it for a second and she had put the needle in at a weird angle and not all of it, then tried to straighten it up whilst it was half in the port! It wouldn't flush obviously so she took it out and then asked me to put pressure on the port with some gauze, erm hello I just told you i don't like touching it or it being touched!!!

I actually started to feel lightheaded because I was so anxious and she had another go, this time it seemed to be in. She said it had hit the back of the port and started to push some saline in, my arm stung and the port area started to swell slightly. I told her this and as I told her, the needle started to pop out, obviously because it wasn't in, the saline was going into my tissue, not the port and the pressure of the liquid having nowhere to go was pushing the needle out. I thought I was going to cry and had to tell myself in my head to grow up! She told me to put pressure on it again with some gauze and I was going to ask her to get someone else to have a go, but she had figured this out already and went to get someone.

The ward sister came in who I know and I instantly felt better, she got the needle in straight away and flushed it fine. She apologised about before and I got to leave at about 6.15pm with three holes in my arm and very sweaty palms.

Moral of this story.... I will always get my port flushed through the day by a liaison nurse who knows how to get a needle in my damn port! I shall be telling them this at my next outpatients appointment!