Update!

I suppose I should update on how I am doing!

Well the answer is not brilliant. I went to the hospital on Wednesday to continue my IVs, I am now on aztreonam and still on the tobramycin. My lung function was (fev1) 33%, so even lower than when I started my IVs. Infact its the lowest it has been in ages, my fvc was also only like 40% and that's usually in the 60% range. My weight was 53.8kg so now the dietitian is onto me, 'it's easier to lose it than it is to put it back on Gemma', it's so funny that for everyone else its the other way around. People with cf always have to be different! So now I have to have one skandishake per day, I don't like them! They make me feel full and they are a pain to make up, plus i'm going through milk like there is no tomorrow. It is this powdery stuff you have to mix with milk however if you don't use a blender all the powder doesn't dissolve and it tastes horrible, the dietitian has given me a shaker thing (kind of like a cocktail maker) but the same problem occurs. Anyway I'll put up with it for abit because my friend has already commented my legs look skinny and I know weight in important to stay well so I don't want it to get much lower. Plus I don't really have a choice do I?!

I'm fed up and Pete is getting stressed because I'm all useless and just lying around because I am SO tired all the time! I got so frustrated on Friday and was chucking my acapella on the floor because the stupid thing keeps not working properly and I'm annoyed that nothing is ever simple! I'm annoyed people keep ringing me on a morning and waking me up, I'm annoyed I always have stuff to do, I'm annoyed because the doctor said if I don't feel better by next week they might admit me onto the ward to see whats happening and I'm annoyed because my friend has died, there was nothing I could do I know one day it's going to be me and it scares the hell out of me. I remember once when I was in hospital another patient punched the window and broke it and I wondered why the heck someone would do that. Well on Friday I understood why someone would do that...

Anyway on Saturday I felt alot calmer even though I started to cough up blood with black bits in which I assume were clots. So I called the hospital (actually I called my mum first in a panic and then called the hospital) and I have to take some tablets called tranexamic acid to try stop it happening again. My sputum now has just red streaks in it. Oh the joys!

I went to see New Moon (the new twilight film) on Friday, I wasn't majorly impressed but I don't know if that was because of my mood, plus the fact my mate forgot I was on my IVs etc which didn't add much to my mood. I think I should see it again, so might drag Pete along, but shhh!