8th Feb 2010 - Surrogacy

I have a few posts to go so decided to post another one today...
Thanks for all your nice messages and advice so far xx

Monday 8th February 2010

I've been having a chat with my mum today about the whole baby thing. It's good because she is more rational and looks at it more realistically than the emotional mess that's in my head.

The trouble is, is that I want to be like everyone else and I have this fantasy in my head. I want a baby, we will make one and I'll be pregnant by this time next year. For some people this happens, but it cannot happen for me, I need to stop thinking about how it could have been and look at how it can be, in my life, me who has cystic fibrosis and cannot just get pregnant when I feel like it.

So we discussed surrogacy (host surrogacy where our egg and sperm are used) and I'm beginning to think it may be the way forward

Positives:

-The baby will be biologically ours
-We will be able to name the baby
-We will have the baby from birth
-We will get to see the baby develop and grow before it is born
-I will experience some form of pregnancy even though it won't be me pregnant
-If I know the person who is a surrogate, it will be more comfortable and special
-I will not risk my health and can continue with my medications etc
-I will be as well as I can be to look after the baby when it arrives
-Did I read somewhere there is a greater risk of twins?!

Negatives:

-It will be a long drawn out process, it could be several years before there is a baby
-There might never be a baby, it could not work
-We need to find someone to be a surrogate, if its a stranger it could be weird
-We could find a surrogate and then they could drop out
-It could cost alot of money, paying for the IVF and surrogacy costs. up to £15,000! We don't have that kind of money
-I will never experience pregnancy fully and the things that come with it
-There are legal issues - the baby would not legally be ours until signed by the surrogate and her husband
-There are extra people involved in having a baby
-Did I read somewhere there is a greater risk of twins?!