Busy Bee

Hi, I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I have some good excuses I promise!

First my laptop charger that has been trying to electrocute me for the past few weeks has now decided to die altogether, it decided to do this when I had 4 minutes of battery time left. Therefore I can't use my laptop and due to my laptops old age I have been struggling to find a new charger for it. I have hopefully found one on Amazon after a few emails with a seller and I've just ordered it now. I'm currently using Pete's laptop but it obviously doesn't have all my settings etc so I haven't been going on the Internet very much.

My second excuse is that I haven't been feeling great and I have been very busy, so any spare time I have, I've been sleeping and trying to relax, poor Alfie hasn't been walked once this week. I just feel tired and my chest isn't feeling that great, I've been wheezing on a night, waking up covered in sweat and my sputum is thicker.

I went to see my friend from University on Thursday, she's just had a baby and lives in Derby. I really could have done without the drive there and back, especially in a new car I'm not 100% comfortable with driving yet, but I've been arranging to see her for ages so I really didn't want to cancel. At least I got to have a bonding session with my car and it was obviously great to her and her little boy.

I also went out last night, it's been arranged for weeks and I've had a nightmare getting a new dress for it. Basically alot of problems with ordering online etc so with all the hassle, plus I've been looking forward to the night out for ages and everyone was meeting at our house, I didn't want to cancel this either. Had a good time anyway and I will put some pictures up when I am back on my laptop and can load them on!

There is loads of other stuff I have been doing, I'm not going to list everything because I can't be bothered! I feel like most of what I am doing, is to keep people happy, because I don't want to let people down. I sometimes feel quite angry inside because I feel like no one understands that I am struggling to do these things, it's partly my own fault for not saying no but also I feel people put pressure on me. I have a hospital appointment on Thursday so I will see how I am doing, I think I'm going to need IV's however it could just be because I have been busy, I feel like I can't even fit IV's in! Even when I go on IV's no one seems to give me a break, even Pete seems to expect me to be able to do everything even when feeling run down or on IV's. I just get so frustrated, how can you show people you don't feel good and make them understand, if I'm quiet I'm moody, if I don't do things I'm lazy, when I put a happy face on and get on with it, then I'm not really that bad. Just can't win really....!