I'm Fat!!

We went to the GP's on Thursday, our appointment was at 9pm!! The GP didn't recognise me at first and was looking at me wondering what the heck I was going on about until I mentioned CF then it clicked. He said my hair is different and my surname has changed so I didn't realise it was me!

He was fine then and really helpful. He is going to test us first to check we are both fertile and then he will refer us to the IVF clinic. I need to have my blood taken in two weeks to see if I am ovulating.

We left feeling quite positive and I've been feeling alot happier since.

I'm having a body crisis. I feel fat! I know I'm not but since I put abit of weight back on, it seems to have all gone to my belly and I wore this tight dress on Saturday and on loads of the pictures my belly is sticking out. It doesn't help that for some reason I felt bloated that night. In the first picture I look OK...

Then I got someone to hold my stomach in for this photo, hence the weird face....

Then, oh my god! I look like I'm going to explode!!

Also I think Pete is having an affair, what do you think?

I had a good night, regardless of carrying what appears a football under my dress. Although I was a little disappointed I kept getting out of breath when dancing and having to sit down to recover.

Last night I was so tired after Saturday night, I seriously did not want to do my physio. I probably shouldn't have insisted we go to the cinema during the day and had a kip instead, but nevermind, we saw Wolfman incase you're interested. I fell asleep and Pete woke me up at half 9 to do my physio as I'd done my pulmozyme at half 8 so needed to wait an hour. I was so horrible, I refused to do it like a little child and threw my stuff on the floor. Eventually I agreed to do it after Pete telling me I'd been bragging I was so compliant with my treatment and wasn't following my own advice! Damn it! I did my tobi neb too, with the most miserable face ever. I also did my tablets and everything else I must do before bed, it's like a military operation! So theres a compliance tip for you, if you are too tired, get your husband to force you to do your physio!

I had outpatients today, my lung function is 43% wahoo! I tried a different strategy recommended to me by someone who reads this blog. He told me to try not breathe out as fast as then your airways close up, obviously you have to breathe out fast but I tried to do it in a more relaxed manner if that makes sense! So either the advice worked or my lung function is actually better. I do feel better in myself but not sure if my chest does. It's so hard to know what feeling good and bad are anymore, they seem to to just be one thing. I wonder, am I actually feeling better or am I just coping with it better? How can you tell?!

Pete and I have booked to go to London in August to see the plays about Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII at the Globe, they were my birthday present. We are trying to decide what else to do when we go. We did Hampton Court, the British Library and the Tower last year. I'm thinking maybe the Dungeons or the Sealife Centre or Windsor Castle, or a combination. Any ideas? I want to go to Hever Castle as some point but I don't think we can go on our trip to London.